It is now Tues. July 21st and I can't believe how much I dislike being down. I didn't think it would be this hard so today I am going to try and find something good about being laid up. I do like the food and treats that have been brought to us..that has been good. I feel bad that Raym got hurt on his hike and know it is hard for him not being able to work out . I hope that doesn't get him down too much.
I love my kids...I worry about each one of them...I want them to be happy. That is all for now.

today is saturday july 18th and it has been more than a week since I fell and broke my leg. That happened on wed july 8th at girls camp, at heber valley camp. I will always remember the fall that day that broke my ankle as it seemed to happen in slow motion. i wasn't focusing on the trail, but talking about why deb hillner didn't like to hike when it happened. I should have been thinking about the steep trail down instead of talking. When I fell, I knew that I had hurt myself pretty bad, even before I landed after the fall. I told Raym, who was hiking behind me that I couldn't get up and I knew i was hurt. Angie and Tian, who were hiking in front of us, quickly went down to catch the rest of the group to tell them what had happened to me but I knew they would probably not catch them for quite a while because Annie and her friends were the ones setting the fast pace and Jeff Hayes, our hike leader, was just trying to keep up with them and keep the group together.
Before Angie, left us, I got her bandana and tied it to mine to try and make a splint so that i could walk on my foot. I knew I had to get down and that I had to hurry to get down before my foot started to swell. Raym tied my laces tight so that I had support and we then said a pleading prayer to our Heavenly Father to help us get down. Without His help, I would not have made it down. It was a steep long hike down and we had no idea how far it was to the bottom but we knew we had to get going. Raym had on his back pack with about 25 lbs in it and a carabeener hooked on the back of the pack. Raym walked in front of me and I held on to the carabeener with my left hand and used Raym's walking pole in my right hand to try and take some of the weight of my ankle. Raym kept walking in front of my telling me what was in front of me , each step of the way. He would say, rock, or sand, or log coming up and I would know what was in front of me. I just kept walking even though the pain was there. I had help from my Father in Heaven that gave me the strength to keep going. I also had the help of the best eternal companion I could ever ask for. Raym was so strong and calm every step of the way, telling me what a good job I was doing and that I could make it. Finally, after about 90 minutes, we made it to the bottom of the steep trail hoping to find Angie waiting for us in Raym's jeep. We didn't find Angie, but a security misisonary on his ATV that drove up to us on the side of the road. I told him I had been injured in a hiking accident and that we had seen the jeep drive on the road to wait for us but that it wasn't here now. He said that he had sent Angie away, thinking she was just joy riding, even though she had told him she was there to get an injured hiking. Well to make a long story short, we made it back after Deb came to get us in her jeep. We drove into camp and the girls came running to the jeep to see if I was okay. I saw Annie there, very worried about me. She later told me that she, Sydney Sperry, and Andria had said a prayer when they heard I had been injured. I think there were a few answered prayers that day. I thank my Father in Heaven for his help getting me safely off the mountain and for all the help he gave me at camp so that I could stay there until the end of camp of Friday.
When I got home on Friday, after driving the girls home in my van, I decided to heed the Bishop's advice, which was to get to a doctor when I got home. I called Dr. Mower's office when I got home and was told I could get into the PA that day to get my foot xrayed. I did it and found out that I had broken my fibula bone on the side of my ankle and that I would need a plate and a few screws to mend the brake. I was told I needed to see a specialist and on Monday, Jen Shelley, was able to make me an appointment with John Wells, who was also going to see Sophie Shelley who broke her leg on some stairs while in San Diego on vacation.
Raym, Michael and the others who were going to Windriver Wyoming on a high adventure hike, left Monday at 4am, before I knew what doctor I was going to see or if I would need surgery. Raym wanted to stay home with me but he realized he needed to go and be with Mike and his young men that he leads. I think it was my dad's advice that made his final decision to go on the hike instead of stay home with me. I had the two best helpers that got me thru this ordeal this week, my darling daughter, Annie, and my very unselfish and loving mom. Annie waited on me every minute of the day and we had wonderful talks and long nights in my bed every night while Raym and Mike were gone. Mom was there helping every minute and even went to Annie's swim meet since I couldn't make it.
The night before the surgery, I asked Sean to give me a blessing since Raym was gone. Dad annointed the oil and Sean, Dad and my brother, Mike, gave the blessing. In the blessing, Sean told me to do what the doctor said and that i would heal quickly. He also told me to write in my journal...that is why I am writing today. He said to write not for myself, but for my kids. i don't think I have anything to say but I guess i will try to write as often as I can. He also told me to read my patriarchal blessing...so I guess I will get that out tomorrow. He is a great son and I love him very much. I want him to be happy and feel the peace that gospel brings me in my life. I guess he has to find that out for himself. I hope he doesn't stray from the gospel like I did before I finally realized what brought too joy and peace...and that is the knowledge of the gospel and the chance of being an eternal family. I am so grateful for that in my life.
The day of the surgery, Mom was here at 9:30am to take me to the hospital and Annie had everything read for me to go. Annie insisted on staying the whole time and I loved her for wanting to be with me. After abotu 90 minutes in the operating room, I came out into recovery and felt the pain. The nurse was right on top of it and gave me a shot of something that eased the pain as well as a pain pill to get the pain under control. We left the hospital about 4:30pm and mom drove us home. I slept well that night and Annie took good care of me. Mom brought us Cafe Rio Salads and we ate those in bed and did well that night. Karen Wade and Janice brought dinner last night, as well as Mike and Shar, who brought us corn, soup, rolls and cinnamon rolls. We were well taken care of. Diane came over to see me and brought flowers. They were yellow and white . She also brought me two books to read. I hope I get to read them. Right now I am reading Breaking Dawn, the last of the Twilight series. Norma also brought me two books on tape to read. I guess I will see what happens and how long I am down.
I thought I would feel better by now but I am stilll in quite a bit of pain when I put my leg down...so I just keep it elevated except to go to and from the bathroom. I am doing better and hope to get feeling well enough to go to Burley for the Spudman next weekend. Raym is suppose to be in the race, but he fell on his hike and hurt his calf and right now it doesn't look like he will be racing next weekend. i guess we will just have to wait and see. I have had so much attention from friends, and family and Loretta has been very worried about me. I will get better soon...I had two blessings telling me i would recover quickly so i have faith it will happen. I just have to obey and stay down. I love my family so much and I want to be with them forever. They are the most important things in my life. I guess that is all for now. Wow....i wrote quite a bit. i will return.

I can't believe I am writing in this today. I wish I would do this every day. I am getting ready for Diane's 50th party tonight that I planned.We are going to Alpine Country Club for a suprise dinner and tribute to her. I hope she has a good time and knows how much we all love her.
I love my family very much and want to be with them forever. I guess i better get busy and bet better.

trying again

I guess this is my 2nd entry even though the first one was only a sentence. I guess I will get in the swing of this and write more. It makes me cry just thinking about writing and I don't know why. Maybe because I feel guilty that I haven't keep a record of things about my kids or photo albums. I have really been negligent and will have to try to make it good with my kids on this.
I have been very worried about my adoptions and am feeling a little down. I am trying to have faith but feel I am not doing all I can to help. I need to pray more and try to figure out what I am suppose to be doing next with my life. I need to earn some money to help out our family's expenses. I can really mess things up if I don't find the direction I should be going. I do know that I should be going forward somewhere, sometime.
I am truly blessed and know that all I have comes from my Heavenly Father. I love my family and I love the temple.

This is the first day of the rest of my life...